LoveFromBarb

 God will make a way when there seems to be no way: He works in ways you cannot see.  He will make a way for me. He will be my guide, hold me closely to His side, He works in ways I cannot see and He will make a way for me. Now after my second infusion of some wonder drug that is immunotherapy for my now-confirmed melanoma which has metastasized, I am still couched in the strange Christian phenomenon that we refer to as 'the peace that passes understanding'. Almost none of the dreaded side effects have occurred so far; tightness in the chest -- very uncomfortable -- was immediately conquered by Nurse Lisa's full on attack with some magical steroid,  and nothing else has arisen.   The steroid amazingly made my Parkinson's symptoms disappear and for the first time in YEARS I feel NORMAL!!  I don't know how long that will last but I love it!   Kaiser has been incredibly efficient, kind, and comforting.  Thank you, Kaiser Fresno. And I thank God ...

 One observation I can offer has me scratching my head:  basketball can be discovered LATE in life.  At least, that's how it is for Mike and me.  In all our 55+ years of marriage we have never once sat down to watch professional basketball more than once or twice a year and then only because there wasn't anything else available to do. Yet this year we have been present (via tele) at almost every playoff game and thoroughly enjoying most of them.  I wonder at the change:  did basketball change? Or have we?   Or did we converge in some thoroughfare of media that is subtly melding us together. A few other new-found interests intimates that there is a movement underway in our lives that draws us to activities that never appealed to us previously and we have found new purposes at hand. NOTE:  still waiting to hear from my doctor regarding 'the next step'.  Possibly in 2 days....is it melanoma or not?   Wherever you are and whatever ...

 It is now April 23.  tests were done April 6, and still my doctor at Kaiser has not contacted me regarding what this lump is and what do we do about it. I have a call in to her but she has been mum so far.  I just now read about the correlation between PD and melanoma.  I am beginning to diagnosis myself and it is not good. So I will instead place my hope in the Lord. My only concern is 'who will take care of my husband?' if not me?  Since his stroke two years plus ago I have been his sole caregiver.  All of his care is my sole focus.  Only the Lord can undertake for us. It is not as if we are alone in this situation:  there is a couple living a block over who, if anything, are in a much worse plight than ours.  No one to care for them and he, who was her caregiver, has not broken his hip and has several other problems that she is not able to help him with. Please hear our prayers, O Lord. Thank You for the Hope and Peace that passes underst...

 Several days have passed, plus several other tests, with no diagnosis announced as yet.   All indications that I can see daily pronounce me doing very well, feeling better than in a long time, and enjoying a fair amount of physical and mental activity capped off by 7-8 hours of deep, refreshing sleep nightly. Several friends have faced their own medical crises during this time and, grateful to say, all are holding their own -- making their stand -- surrounded by prayer support from their faith family.  Where would we be in our vulnerable seventh and eighth decades without the aide and comfort of prayer -- our own and others'?

 Not so fast with the happy go lucky business:  doctor wants more testing for pesky lump.  Waiting now to be called for CT scan.   That's the thing about these things:  the things that keep popping up.  It's a bit like whack-a-mole but not so much fun. But what would be a sucker punch without knowing Christ as my savior who "holds all things together" is merely a swat on the shoulder. Good news:  my precious life-partner and husband of 55 years is still making progress 2 plus years after his massive stroke!  What would I tell others in our situation?  Get the faith.  Keep the faith.  Never give up!

The week after the Big Scare:  it's a good thing no angst was spent on worrying about the lump.  Because it doesn't rise to the level of further checking for cancer:  a thorough ultrasound performed by an Artist of the Specialty settled the matter.  And said ultrasound is now archived for future comparison in case of any changes, growth or suspicious activity among the several lumpy nodes resident in me. Great news.  Time to give thanks and encourage others who may be facing your own Big Scare. Hubby and I had agreed as we walked into the hospital that whatever the test result, we would face with faith and prayer and a positive expectation of being in God's will for us, however it might go.   As the poet writ: Under the wide and starry sky Dig the grave and let me lie. Glad did I live and gladly die And I lay me down with a will. This be the verse you 'grave for me: Here he lies where he longed to be. Home is the sailor, home from the sea And the hunte...